I think it is easy to let situations control you and how you feel. In the beginning of this process, I was lost. I´ve never understood what could make someone so horribly depressed that they would hit rock bottom…life isn´t that bad….is it? However, I hit rock bottom. I locked myself away from the world, I retreated into my own sorrow, asked questions I would never get answers too, tried to find out what was wrong with me, I refused to eat, I neglected myself, if he couldn´t love me, how could I love myself? Obviously I wasn´t worth being loved….or so I thought.
What saved me is the amazing people in my life…..the people who helped me to see me again…to really really see me.
My beautiful and oh-so- intelligent daughter told me, "Mamma, you are so great at giving others advice about being strong, believing in themselves, having faith, being positive but when you need that advice yourself you don´t take it?" And yeah, it was as if someone turned the light switch on again….the choice was mine….no one else controls my destiny or my life but me.
As I turned the pages and began "reading" the next chapter I understood quickly that surrounding myself with people who made me feel good, who believed in me, who helped me believe in myself, who had been where I had been and could show me life does really go on and can get even better then it was…..I needed these people around me….
And I was truly blessed to not have to look to hard to find these people. With every kind word, gesture, thought, conversation, and hug I began to see me again….to see my potential….to see my worth….to see all the possibilities laying before me. Some of these possibilities aren´t free….they cost in the form of hard work and determination, but my friends and family made me believe that I had that determination in me….and hard work is a matter of opinion….anything worth having is worth working for….and I could do anything!
I took control of my life, my thoughts, my destiny, my happiness…..
Until next time my friends…