And yet, always trying to be the optimist, I´m trying to see the positives. TRYING, is the key word here. I´m not really hungry. I have moments where I feel my stomach rumble but I go get some water and I´m ok. So that part isn´t too bad. But it´s the psychological part of food lover giving up everything close to her heart for some powder vitamin and mineral shakes which is hardest. I find myself wanting to make some of these wonderful recipes I´m finding online and yes, I´m doing that too myself, I´m looking up recipes I want to eventually try and I´m even watching Masterchef Ireland on the Discovery channel and Top Chef!!! Torture I know!!!! Yet I know that for the next six weeks (if I can hold out that long and I´m seriously in doubt but that is the standard minimum for this program when you have as much weight to lose as me) I will be choosing between, chocolate mint, strawberry, chocolate, apple/cinnamon oatmeal, chicken curry soup, and vegetable soup. With the occasional nutrient bar which I´m allowed to eat as one of my meals. It´s so depressing. Six weeks, 7 days a week, 42 days in total with JUST these choices!!
I was in charge of making food for the kids today at work and it was a simple meal, nothing very exciting but the smell of hot dogs roasting in the oven about killed me and as I reached to taste if the pasta was al´dente I realized I wasn´t allowed to do that...or it would disturb this process of getting my body into Ketosis. So I had to ask the cleaning lady to taste it for me and trust she had an idea what al´dente was...
Tonight my two youngest made their first meal alone...hot dogs. That´s it...nothing else. I have a lot of work to do with them but it´s typical them...they eat to live, not live to eat...if they get food in them, it doesn´t really matter what it is or how it´s presented...of course they love it when I make food for them but when it´s up to them, it´s the quickest and easiest way possible. But I felt so badly because they sat in the kitchen eating their hot dogs and I was in the living room. I couldn´t be around the smell. I missed being with them. The social part of dinner together as a family. I could eat my soup with them but it´s hard. Watching them eat real food makes my soup feel like I´m trying to swallow a rock. It´s better to eat by myself, just drink it fast and get it over with.
I´m really weak feeling today, sleepy and like I have NO energy. I´m told and promised that this goes over within the first week. I´m hoping and praying they are right but right now this is really hard and it´s making it very hard to stay positive but I´m using all the strength I can.
I was saying to someone today that for me I don´t think it´s the food part of a new lifestyle that is the hardest for me. I love making food from scratch, so we seldom eat fast food or pre-made here. I also love vegetables and fish and oh heck, I love everything....My problem with food is I love to snack and I have no control over portions. My biggest problem though is with the exercise. I mean, don´t get me wrong...once I´m out the door and going I LOVE it....love love love it...and I think to myself, I really want to do this again. Yet, when I´m sitting here at home, getting my big butt up and out the door is hard and if it´s bad weather...well, just forget it...I have rain clothes but..ugh....so THIS is where I feel I need to work the most. I have several things I need to work with, I need to find that balance between what I put in my mouth and what I burn off. I´m looking at this powder part as simply a jump start. How big of a jump I get will depend on how long I can hold out, but the real challenge of this program comes when you start eating real food again. ANYONE can lose weight drinking just powder...duh....but when you start eating real food again, you have to have the right amounts going in vs the right amount being burned off...and that is where I think the real challenge of this is but I`m ready for it. I´m loving all the links I´m finding to healthy eating websites and the amazing meals I´m seeing which are healthy for you. It makes me wonder why I couldn´t just have been eating these things all along....like this yummy recipe for seafood lasagna which I found...I will DEFINITELY be trying this out when I can and if any of you try it out before me, let me know how it tastes ;-)
If you have a link to a fabulous healthy meal you think I should try out when I´m able to eat food again, leave the link in the comments section and I´ll go check them out!!!
Until next time my friends....
3 comments:
You are a stronger woman than I. I doubt I would make it two days with powdered drinks. That said, I made some radical changes to my diet after I found out I had cancer. I switched to a no sugar, no agave, no honey, limited fruit diet that is mostly raw.
I too live to eat so it was hard to make those changes and know that they will have to be for the rest of my life (sugar feeds cancer). I went from baking muffins, cookies, and cakes from scratch every week to no sugar raw food.
The sugar withdrawal I went through was so rough. I had no idea how addicted to it I had become. Thankfully, I no longer have cravings for it.
What were you saying about ketosis. They want you to go into it or they don't? I was a little confused.
Have you considered buying a cheap rebounder? I have one in front of my tv. I try to do at least 1 hour a day while watching a favorite show. It is not the most attractive thing in my living room, but at least it helps me burn calories while I enjoying some tv.
I know that whatever you do, you will be successful. It will definitely take time to do it the right way, but you will get there!
This brought back memories . . . stay with it if you can Amy. It will bring results fast. And portion control can be a positive result to this kind of program.
Out the door now . . . And go for a walk . . . me too, here I go!
So sorry you are struggling! I know you are like me...we love cooking for others so much so not having food as an integral part of our daily life would be tough. Just stay focused on your program and know that we know you CAN DO IT!
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