A faith is a necessity to a man. Woe to him who believes in nothing. Victor Hugo
I think, well for me at least, one of life´s great questions is what happens to us when we are done with our life here on Earth? Don´t worry, I haven´t got an answer for you, so I am not going to try and convince you of something...however, it is a question that swivels around in my head constantly and I find myself being swayed in my decisions as to what I think happens to us by things I experience and things I hear. I know in my heart though that this answer will never be completely found until my last breath is taken. Still, it´s extremely interesting to ponder what becomes of us when we have drawn our last breath. Various religions believe various things, this isn´t a Sunday school class so I won´t try and act like I am all knowing about the various religions out there...but to say there are as many varied opinions as to what happens to us as there are people in the world is probably safe to say. Some believe we become one with nature again, while others believe we move on to a new life, others believe we go up to heaven and some believe our souls continue to live on here on Earth. I´m sure there are many other beliefs and these are just some...but that something happens to us after this life is something I like to believe in. Otherwise, what is the point of this life? What is the point of our existence here? To see what kind of education we can get? What kind of car we can afford? And how many friends we ultimately have? Why are we here?
Perhaps, there is no connection between why we are here and where we go next? I don´t know? I heard something one time about when you die, your soul eventually moves on to another life...and keeps repeating this until it just doesn´t move on someday. Which explains why some children are born with "old souls" while others seem forever childish. I don´t know really what I believe when it comes to that but it seemed to make sense...I have one child who acts like she has been through life before...she knows what she has to do and she does it...no questions...and then I have another two who act like they aren´t as concerned with what will happen next and are enjoying the moment...young souls perhaps? I don´t know?...I really and truly don´t but I wonder. My curiosity is extremely peeked by this subject. So peeked in fact that I did something yesterday I truly thought I would never do. Something I have actually resisted doing for many years, despite being around people who were constantly seeking the help of professional mediums...I would listen to what they would say, nod my head in amazement at the stories they told while thinking, "are these people serious? This is ridiculous!" While at the same time there was a voice in my head, somewhere, thinking, "Could this be real?" Is there anyone else here with several voices in their head or am I just lucky?
Anyhoot, yesterday I had my first conversation with a medium....who spoke to my Mother...or was it my Mother who spoke to him? Not quite sure how it all worked...and the anticipation I had up to our conversation was like waiting to visit the dentist, not knowing if it would be a good experience or a bad one. Simon Milton-Jones is from England and is now living in Norway, married to a Norwegian. An expat like myself who claims to be losing his grip on the English language just as I feel I am also...we had a good laugh about that...how crappy our English is becoming....then it hit me how shameful that fact actually is...shouldn´t be laughing about that...but it was great to relate that experience to someone who understood.
Our session began and my Mother came to Simon, apparently accompanied by a man whom we couldn´t exactly establish who this man was, but concluded that he was just someone helping to guide my Mom to Simon since this was her first time...you see...you never stop having to learn things...even in death! I think I expected Simon to come with a bunch of facts, a bunch of things he MIGHT have been able to nab off google if he searched hard enough...that is the skeptic in me, trying to figure out a way to explain what I was going to hear. However, the majority of things he shared with me were based on feelings, feelings you couldn´t have found through google. Information which he couldn´t have found no matter how hard he searched and I found myself thinking...."Holy crap...is this really happening? Did he just say what I think he said, which sounds SO MUCH like something Mom would have said or felt?" I kept trying to stay skeptic and when he would say something that wasn´t quite on the money I´d think, "Ahh ha....you are so wrong!" Then as if he could read my thoughts he would say something that was spot on and I was back to thinking..."Holy crap, he just did it again!" In between my conversation with Mom, Simon and I had a fun chat and laughed a bunch. I felt so giddy after we were done...kinda like you feel when the dentist appointment went really really well and you´re so relieved and can finally relax and enjoy the moment. I felt so good. I didn´t cry once...because things he told me brought back such happy thoughts about my Mom. It was fun to remember her in the various things he was saying and it was comforting to think maybe she really is still with me even though she isn´t physically with me.
My Mother use to love talking about death with me, probably to demonstrate that the thought didn´t scare her. I would always complain that I didn´t like the finalization of death. Of never being able to talk to her again. She would always respond by saying that she spoke daily with her Father and Grandmother and I would say, "yeah but Mom it´s not the same...they can´t answer you!" Still, she found comfort in her belief...in her faith. I was still doubtful. However, after yesterday...while I am still trying to find some explanation for what happened, I truly believe something happened. I believe my Mom was communicating with me in some way that I find incredibly hard to explain. I just feel like saying you have to experience it yourself and many of us are like that...incredibly disbelieving and stubborn until we experience it ourselves and then some of us suddenly feel ALL KNOWING...but we won´t get into that right now! ;-) I wouldn´t say I am all knowing and I still feel unsure about what I truly believe but in that moment...that conversation, I had no doubts of what I was experiencing. That is about as good as I can explain it.
So what do you believe in? What faith do you honor and how did you know it was the right thing to believe in? I think perhaps there are so many different faiths because we are so many different people in the world. That ultimately we all believe something happens but because we are so different our faiths have all become different in order to satisfy our differences and make us all feel that we have something we can believe in? I´m simply making an observation and could be totally off base here but it is an interesting thought don´t ya think?
The freezer challenge is still going, just been incredibly bad about taking photos and sharing the recipes...but will try and get better...sometimes it just doesn´t sound that exciting to write about pasta and meat sauce...I mean...really....zzzzzzzz....I´ve got tons of baking to do this week as I am attending a Christmas market on Saturday where I´ll be selling my baked goods for the first time. I hate baked goods from the freezer and feel there is a taste difference between JUST baked and baked and frozen...never the less I don´t have a lot of choice in the matter, some things will simply have to be baked and frozen or I´ll be doing nothing on Friday but baking until I have to go to my stand on Saturday and that just wouldn´t be good. I´ll post some photos of my baked goods as soon as I can....in the meantime, keep the faith!