Exhaustion

I’m exhausted. I’m totally and underly exhausted. I have no words for how exhausted I am, there is no way to describe this feeling. My head which usually races with a million thoughts, still has those million thoughts racing only it’s caos on my brain waves…my thoughts get mixed up and I can’t think straight. Simple things are difficult and I’m emotional. I go between extreme anger and flying off the handle at the blink of an eye to crying uncontrollably for no apparent reason and laughing til my stomach hurts at the silliest things. It’s just weird…this exhaustion. But then I look over at these sweet babies…

And I think, it’s only for a few more weeks…then they will leave and the only one left will be Jackson. The boy we’re keeping and the pup going to Japan…..oh and the little girl whose owners will be on vacation until the 10th of August. Ok…so there will be 3 or 4…but still compared to 12 it’s nothing…

I’ve begun using ear plugs when I sleep because they do this…

 

at night and usually it’s one lone pup that sits there in the midst of all it’s siblings and begins this lonesome song…and after awhile several others wake to join him…hoping (I’m sure) that someone will hear their pitiful song and come rescue them…but with the help of ear plugs I shall teach them at night we sleep…we do not sing, we do not eat, we do not play….we sleep….sleep is good…sleep is important…we need sleep…

Next week I’ll be starting an online diet course similar to Weight Watchers. I’ll write down my menu for a week and how much I exercise and someone will go over this with me and tell me where I can improve things. I’m ready to make these changes. There are things in my life that are demanding this change…whether I’m wanting it completely or not, I must..I must make these changes once and for all. My biggest grrrrrr is that I want to make these changes without sacrificing the good things in life…eating things I want, baking when I feel for it, etc etc. There HAS to be a way to live normally and still lose weight and be healthy?? Well, I’ve been thinking about doing some videos on my weight loss journey and posting them here..maybe while I’m out exercising or something- thoughts and such of a woman on a mission- sounds exciting doesn’t it? I’m sure you all want to hear my baby voice and see my big gigantic jumbo body on video…so stay tuned…hahaha..

Believe it or not I’ve been able to do some gardening with the pups around and I’m also blessed with a field of wild flowers which are so beautiful to look at and give me such peace..what do you think? Isn’t this peaceful?

The kids have been great, helping me with the pups….

and picking the most delicious little strawberries which grow wild around here in the woods and in our yard…they are so sweet, like little bursts of sweetness…

I love my blog and I love reading all of your blogs…I send a huge warm hug to all of you who have continued to be loyal to this blog despite the lack of updates and I promise to repay the loyalty by continuing to read all of your blogs once my life gets a little less caotic and the exhaustion levels get back to normal..

Until next time my dear friends….