What Is The Proper Way To Mourn?

 

These beautiful flowers were sent to me by the ladies I work with with a card letting me know that both the big people and small people at my work are thinking of me..and I was so touched to recieve these. I sure miss everyone I work with and all my little friends..I have thought about taking a little trip to say hello on Monday and I’m excited to get all those tiny hugs which warm so much…

I’m off work for the next two weeks so I can rest and recoup from everything that has happened both with my mother’s passing and new puppies- I’m so exhausted right now I don’t know which way is up or down..but I have been thinking since I got home about whether I have sufficiently mourned my mother enough or properly enough?

When I was in Texas, the first week went to the memorial service and funeral and that week flew by and the emotions were high and low. We visited my mother’s brothers and their families whom we hadn’t seen in many years and they were as usual boisterous and wonderful. The time with them was filled so completely by them that it didn’t leave a lot of time to think of mom..outside of the funeral.

Seeing her casket was extremely tough..I think the finality of death…the forever about it is the hardest part to deal with. My mother suffered a long and cruel sickness, so for her sake I’m happy she isn’t suffering anymore. I have also told my dad that I think living where I do, has allowed me to slowly say goodbye to mom the last two years of her illness…she couldn’t speak much on the phone as she was tired so the wonderful conversations I use to have with her died out and it became the basics- I love you and I miss you type conversations. It was so hard to stop having those conversations with her and I struggled a lot with that loss but after time I accepted that it was just how it was and it would never be the same again.

I have also not seen my mom every day so not seeing her in Texas didn’t hit me as hard as it might have if I was use to seeing her every day. But it’s the thought that I can never hear her tell me she loves me again, never give her a kiss or a hug, smell her (don’t think I’m weird but my mother’s smell was one of the best things I knew..she would wear Beautiful perfume by Estee Lauder..a gorgeous scent and has since become even more precious to me because I think of her when I smell it) She is gone..the only thing left of her is her memory which of course will live on forever for me and I look at photos and can reminice about various times with her and smile and laugh and other times I break down and cry…

Since I have left Texas and come home though, life has continued along at high speed and I find myself not thinking of my mother as much as maybe I feel I should during this time? I don’t know what is the proper way to mourn? Am I disrespecting my mom by not thinking of her 24/7 and crying daily over her? And is crying over a loved one who has passed the proper way to mourn them? What is the correct etiquette when a loved one passes???

My sister and dad seemed to have it a lot worse then me when I was home and I felt guilty that I was sleeping ok most of the nights while they couldn’t sleep, I felt guilty that I wasn’t crying as much as they were..but then again, they’ve lived and breathed her day in and day out the last two years because of her illness, they have been the incredible tag team who kept her living as long as she did- without them she might not have made it as far as she did and I’m forever in debt to them for what they did for her those last years.

Now I am sitting here in a puppy box looking at six new lives wiggling around and by no means will I ever compare my mother’s life to a pup’s life…but life in general is constantly rejuvenating itself..where one light goes out another is lit. Life doesn’t slow down and give you time to properly mourn either- it keeps going and sometimes you just have to hang on and go with it and the moments it slows down you find yourself thinking of your lost loved one. My mother will forever be in my heart……

The Puppies Are Here..The Puppies Are Here!!

After getting three hours of sleep last night, Isabella began delivering these sweet little babies…birth started at noon and was done by 4:15PM. In total 4 boys and 2 girls and everyone has a home- well, one boy doesn’t, but I’m going to ask the people who wanted a female if they want the male and if not, I’m not worried, cute as these little guys are- finding a home for one very super sweet male will NOT be my biggest worry.

The pups were BIG and active. The smallest was a female at 675 grams. The biggest was a male at 812 grams. He got stuck and I worried we’d lose him, but out he came kicking and waving around- totally cute..

Check this out….

Hard to believe these little guys will grow to be 50-75kilos!!! We’ll enjoy them at this size as long as it lasts…

Until next time- from the puppy box……

Honey, I’m Home…..

Finally back in Norway and I’ll begin updating my blog again.  I’m still really tired so this won’t be a big post right now but I just wanted to touch base with anyone who might be following this and catch you up to speed on life here at Eventyrhus…

Two and a half weeks went super fast in Texas but we were busy a lot of the time, it was just the last few days there wasn’t a lot to do, but it was good just being together with Dad and Betsy and her family. My gang was all looking forward to getting home but the toughest part would be leaving our family in Texas and it hung over us like a dark cloud those last days.

Monday morning we got up around 6AM and headed to Dallas. Said our goodbyes and boarded the plane around 1 in the afternoon. What was suppose to be a 3 hour and 6 minute flight turned into 6.5 hours. We circled over Philadelphia in what seemed like forever waiting to get clearance to land but after waiting and waiting our pilots said we’d be diverting to Baltimore to refuel and await approval to land at Newark. We were instructed to contact Continental’s customer service if we had connecting flights we might miss due to this diverted landing (bad weather in Newark was the reason they told us for not being able to land) I called customer service and got some Ol’ Bitty who said there was a flight going to London at 10PM but if she rebooked me we’d have to pay the differences. I said why should we pay when it’s not our fault the plane was delayed? She said bluntly that it wasn’t their fault that the weather was bad! The other passengers told me to ask what our options were when we got to the airport in Newark. Around 9:30PM (Eastern time) we arrived in Newark and our plane to Oslo had left at 8:50. We were instructed to go to Customer Service which had a HUGE line of passengers already there when we got there. When we finally got up to the counter we were told that we couldn’t catch a new plane until 7:50 the following evening arriving in Oslo at 9:35AM on Wednesday. They’d put us up in a hotel for the night and gave us food coupons for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

So out we went to wait on the shuttle to the hotel- when it finally came and we loaded up and got to the hotel it was almost 2AM. I asked if the hotel room had a roll away we could get for Thomas or if there was a couch in the room- there wasn’t- which meant that one of us would have had to sleep on the floor since there were just two beds. So we got another room and kept the reciept thinking we’d ask at customer service the next day for a refund.

After a somewhat restless night of sleeping we got up at 8:30 and laid around the room until almost 11 and went down to the Deli in the hotel lobby for breakfast which was served all day long. Some how on the way in we managed to not take note of these…

It wasn’t until we were ordering breakfast and gulping hard at the price of pancakes that the kids wanted- 23,95!!! When the waitress mentioned the girls might want to share their pancake because it was “kinda” big…Thomas wanted chocolate chip pancakes so he ordered that- at 19 bucks…Stig and I ordered a western omlett which we were told we might want to share also…thinking we’d just order more if we were hungry we sent the waitress off with our order…imagine our surprise when she came back with these…

Click photo to see them larger- sorry for the poor quality, these were taken with Stig’s cell phone…I swear there had to be a dozen eggs in that omelette!!! And NO, those pancakes were not finished and neither was that omelette…despite honest efforts..;-)) Right about the time our breakfast came out the people next to us ordered a slice of chocolate cake and out came a cake piece with at least ten layers (taken right out of that cake fridge) and they laughed and we laughed…gee- and we wonder why Americans are overweight??? To be honest though, this American has never seen such portions before and as my Dad said, “what was the point?”

Isabella is still pregnant, we’re expecting pups any day now, Stig is out in the garage putting together a puppy box for me. I think Isabella is waiting for this and then they will come. I felt them move this morning, was so sweet…after an x-ray that was taken Monday there is for sure 6 babies there, possibly 7, as we saw a body but not the head and if we are really lucky there is an 8th hiding there somewhere too, but for sure 6 and no more then 8, which is fine..a nice size litter for Isa and us…I’ll post more soon when they come and we get caught up on sleep…

Until next time my friends…

Mother’s Quilt

Today is the memorial service for my mother. I woke this morning with the first few lines of this poem in my head and came out here and finished the rest…

Mother's Life Quilt

Her life was like a quilt.

Pieced together with experiences and memories

into a work of art.

The colour red was woven in

through love and caring moments

she not only gave but recieved.

The colour blue was woven in

through cool witty humor she shared with all.

The colour yellow was woven in

through the brightness her presence

brought to anyone who knew her.

The colour green was woven in

through her love of nature and animals.

The colour purple was woven in

through the honorable way she lived her life.

The colour orange was woven in

for the strength she exuded.

The colour black was woven in

through difficult and trying times.

The colour white was woven in

through the peace she found in the end.

The stitching was a road that never really finished.

A masterpiece of detail down to the very end.

This quilt should be used in times of need

and admired for it's uniquness and beauty.

True works of art are one of a kind

the hours spent creating

are really quite immeasurable.

This quilt has got a special name

to remember for all time.

My Mother's Life Quilt.