Lettin' The Cat Out of The Bag

Well, just want everyone to know that this will not be a blog about losing weight, although I think it's great that our no chocolate, no cola, and no chips idea was something that caught on and if you want to join us, by all means- come on!!! We know from our experience before that there do arise certain times in the year where it's even harder then normal to avoid these three things so we are allowing ourselves 6 times a year that we can "break down" and eat the good (I mean bad) stuff.....you don't have to use those 6 times, but you have them so you don't have to feel bad if you eat or drink one of these....unless your count goes beyond 6...then you ought to feel REAL bad...hahahahaha...

My weight has been an issue since I had kids. That eat for two when you are pregnant...I took that literally...just never thought about the second person weighing less then 9lbs. ;-)) I was a bit tubby in my teens but worked if off around my junior and senior year and had several years of hot lookin body, having fun, and feeling good times!! Then like I said, I took that eating for two a little to literally, lived below my grandmother's house in an apartment and ate a lot of grandma food while I was pregnant...and well...one thing led to the next. I never shook the extra weight after baby number one...then managed to lose 5 kilos under baby number two...and then put it on again plus some by baby number three and then years of living on a that lonely island on the coast of Norway, dealing with small babies, a husband who is gone a lot, my family thousands of miles away....I tried to eat my depression away, only to be more depressed by my ever growing body. It was a miserable time and in 2005 I got the chance of a lifetime. I was one of 18 people picked out of over 10,000 to be on Scandinavia's version of the Biggest Loser. We were three teams of six representing Norway, Sweden, and Denmark who were flown to Estonia where we lived for ten weeks in a gorgeous castle in the middle of no where and were trained by Scandinavia's hottest trainers in each of the respected countries. It was such a great experiences and very interesting to see behind the scenes of "reality" tv. It was amazing how intense your feelings were while you were there. You cried at the drop of a hat and not because they asked you, just because you were cut off from the world, you missed your loved ones, you were going through an amazing experience and it was just so intense.

Norway lost the first contest between all the teams by a small margin and we ended up having to send someone home after the first week. The decision lay between the biggest guy on the team and the girl who lost the least amount of weight which was a lovely girl who wanted more then anything to have a baby and if she didn't lose weight she would never have gotten that baby. The biggest guy on the team was told by doctors he'd be dead by the time he was 21 if he didn't lose weight, he was around 197kilos. Just sneezing he lost 2kilos. So it was wrong to think about sending him home, we needed him so the team would have a chance to lose the most possible weight each week. There was a team prize and an individual prize and I felt my chances toward the individual prize was slim, but the team prize I felt we had a real chance at. I also wanted my new found friend to be a mom. So I told everyone to send me home. I felt like I had gotten what I needed in that first week to make a success at this and I would be followed up at home, so it would be ok. But it was hard, no one wanted to send me home. I had to do some fast talking to get them to say yes but in the end I was the one sent home and we were all in tears. You get taken away right after you are voted off, they have a car waiting for you and I was driven back to the castle to get my things and then they took me to a hotel in Tallin the same night and I flew home the next day. So I couldn't say goodbye to my friends outside of the hugs we gave when I got up to go...everyone was in tears and I was so worried about them all...but I went home and spent the rest of the time working hard at losing weight and I had a woman who read my weekly menus and my coach called me often to ask how I was doing. One by one my friends from the team came home and gave me updates as to what was going on and after ten weeks everyone was home and we had still fourteen weeks alone to workout and lose weight before the final show. After six months I had gone down 26.5 kilos!!!! I felt fabulous but I know now at that time, I still saw a fat woman. I didn't see the woman I had become...it's only now when I look back at photos and see myself that I think HOLY COW I was skinny!!!! The thing is, when the tv lights went off, I was back in the same life I had been so depressed in before I went on the show. My life hadn't changed, only I had somewhat, but it wasn't enough to keep my weight loss. I was still depressed living where we lived, having Stig leave all the time, feeling that this was as good as my life was going to get....it was so hard. Almost two years after the show we finally got the guts to move...we found this place and everything happened so fast, if it didn't I think Stig and I would have discussed the idea of moving to death and nothing would have ever happened. That is how we were and why we never moved earlier....we discussed the pros and cons until we just didn't do anything. Neither one of us took the lead and said let's do it. But I was so depressed and so down that last time that I knew if we didn't do anything I'd be heading for a mental home...I couldn't take it anymore.

Now we have been here almost two years and I love it here. I'm really happy here but the weight is still an issue, it's like the one thing from my past that I haven't been able to shed...I KNOW what I have to do to lose it and it's not hard and it's not hocus pocus...it's simple really. The balance between what you put in must work with what you put out. To lose, putting in less and working off more is the best...but it's still hard. We need food, we can't go a day without food, it's not like quitting smoking..you don't NEED cigarettes...but you need food. Think about it, everywhere you go in the world, food is served, it's a part of the culture, it's impolite to not eat when you go to someone's house, you need it...it's there everyday and I adore it. When I was growing up we ate out a lot. My parents both worked and no one wanted to cook or clean, so we often ate out. We ate out to celebrate, be upset about something, discuss something...everything revolved around the dining room table. When we had company over we'd spend a long time around the table eating...get togethers were often pot luck dinners with fabulous spreads...So I feel I'm in a learning process in how to eat healthy...to like that kind of eating. There is a lot of great food that is healthy....but not enough to sustain you for life...at least not that I've found so far...so I fall back to the unhealthy stuff many times. I adore cheese and pasta...carbs are my best friend and my worst friend. I tried the no carbs diet for two weeks- which involved giving up fruit with carbs too...after two weeks the only thing I wanted was an apple...a big red juicy apple...but it is chock full of carbs. That is where I decided it was wrong to exclude foods, but you have to learn to limit things. When you add on top of all of this that I have become a great cook and baker in my later years- you begin to understand just how difficult my struggle is...but I am not a quitter...even though I've been stuck in fatville for way too many years...I have tasted success, I know I have it in me to lose the weight when I'm finally ready. When I'm mentally ready, it will come off and a lot of times I think I'm mentally ready...only to find out a week or two later I wasn't....but alas, I won't give up...success is out there waiting on me and with that I'll end the weight loss speech and move on to other things.

Today is Mother's Day in Norway. It's the only country who celebrates it in February vs. May. Don't ask me why, Norwegians are not always easy to understand but hey, when in Rome...or Norway....we do as the Norwegians...woke around nine and Sarah was up and cleaning up and had a lovely card for me...we're going out for another walk today and I believe some shovelling will be in order today, I'm wondering whether or not we will have to go up on the roof and shovel also, it's starting to look like a LOT of snow up there, don't want the roof to come crashing down on us!!! It's been snowing for two days straight now. Yesterday they said 25cm had fallen...and they are expecting around this today also...so for all of you who don't understand the metric system...let's just say it's a HECK of a lot of snow...I'll take pictures later when we are out shovelling and post them. For now though I'll leave you with some before Biggest Loser and after Biggest Loser pictures of yours truly...

Have a great day folks...