I'm not going to try and write a depressing posting here but I have been wandering around the house today thinking how funny life is..Before my mother's illness we talked ALL the time. My mom was the one I could turn too anytime I had something on my mind and there was NEVER anything I couldn't tell her, when I was pregnant for the first time I was so scared what she would think and I called her and told her I had something to tell her...."yes....." she said on the other line as if she knew already what I was planning on saying. "If you know what I'm going to say could you please say it?" I asked her sheepishly..."No, I want to hear you say it" she said back cool and collected. She always knew me so well and it was never easy to fool her. Once I was grounded from the telephone for a week and I took up walking that week...I'd walk from our house down to the grocery store to use the pay phone. My mother was wise too me and one day while I'm happily talking away on the phone I turn around to see my mom and my sister sitting in the car looking at me and my sister was laughing. I hung up and got in the car, "how did you know I was here?" "You began exercising...that was my first clue something was up.." hahahaha!! I can laugh about that now but it wasn't very funny at the time I can promise you!!!
My sister always was jealous of my relationship with my mom I think. Where we were close and could talk about anything I think my sister felt very compared to me by our mom and never felt she lived up to the comparison. My mom confided in me a lot of times about her frustration with my sister and not understanding her. As a self centered teen I was oblivious to exactly how frustrating this was for both parties but as I got older, I saw how much my sister wanted to have a relationship with my mom but felt she always fell short and how important it was for my mom to understand my sister.
My dad is a wonderful guy who has always been the clown in the family. That is how I think of him, the guy who always made you laugh. Time and life have dampened that humour- but only slightly- he can still make you belly laugh til it hurts, but the things he's been going through the last years have softened his humour some. He expected to be planning retirement trips with my mom, not dealing with a life threatening illness with her. That would colour anyone's humour I think. My dad worked a lot when we were younger so he wasn't really the one you went too with problems. He was just the good time guy...we have had some conversations, usually when I felt frustrated with mom and he would try and explain her to me. But otherwise I can't really recall communicating with him outside of joking around.
But there is where life gets funny....after my mom's illness and because of the distance between me and my family in the states, my sister has been helping my dad take care of my mom. This has given her a lot of time with mom over the last couple years and they've had many opportunities to talk and my sister says she feels closer to mom now then she ever did and she feels like mom talks to her about a lot of things. Where I feel the opposite. I feel like in that sense of communication, my mom is already gone. That is a horrible thing to write but she gets so tired on the phone, so we don't talk much there and when I see her on MSN, she is usually tired too and she will talk a bit but nothing like what we use to talk about. Now I find myself opening up more and more to my dad. Telling him things I use to tell mom and my relationship with him is changing and I am grateful for that. It's one of the few positives coming out of my mom's illness. Another positive is my sister's relationship with my mom. It gives me comfort to know she is finally feeling the closeness with mom that she has always wanted and envied between me and my mom. I wish it hadn't taken my mom getting sick for these things to come about...but that is how life is funny....you just never know what to expect.
Live every day as if it's your last is a wonderful statment and something more of us should follow. I read in the paper the other day about a world class bicyclist who was to turn 22 on the 10th of February and he died in his sleep before the fifth stage of the cycling tournament he was in. There was no warning of what was to come, he had spoken to his parents the night before and told them he was going to give it his all the next day and went to bed, never to wake up again. Life is funny like that...you have NO idea what is around the corner but you keep going and deal with all the bumps and pot holes along the way, enjoying the scenery as you go and hoping you'll get maximum time to complete this ride...but you never know..
Uff, I'm feeling kinda heavy now...let's lighten this up a bit...got some photos from the breeder of our little new girl, Jenny. We decided to call her Jenny as we were watching Forest Gump the night we decided to have her. So now when we say her name, we all say it like Forest did...J...E...N...N...Y, I love you Jenny...hahahaha....check out little miss Jenny in the middle of the food bowl...already eating like one of the family!!! Good girl!!! I was asked if she was a border collie but she isn't, she is an Australian Shepherd. Pretty similar but I think the Aussie is prettier ;-)) of course George over at Country Girl Chronicles is the exception to that statement...just so that is said!!!
Attaching a photo of my dear sweet dad...he'll probably give me heck about that but I can handle it..I think he's so cute and he's an animal lover like me, though he has control and knows his limits. I'm more like his mamma, it's very very hard to say no to a cute little fur face!!!! I'm glad the Captain has some control. I know when he says NO it's a NO...but thankfully with Jenny he just started discussing whether he liked the name Jenny or not...love that guy too.....
Have a great weekend folks!!! I'm going to try baking in my old wood stove oven tomorrow...if anything turns out I'll post some pictures tomorrow.
6 comments:
Great pics - your dad looks very gentle and jolly. And are those dogs eating cookie dough?
I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. As you know, my MIL lived with cancer for two years before dying just before Christmas. My husband says that her illness brought the family much closer together. So - out of the bad - there has come quite a lot of good.
Keep cheerful! Happy weekend!
Your dad looks delightful and his furry friend is beautiful. And J...E...N...N...Y is the cutest of the litter! She's precious and I know you, the Captain and your children will be so happy with her (and she with you, of course).
Nice post, sad at times, but well-said! I'll keep good thoughts for your mom and dad (and sister, too).
I'm taking the wonderful Jenny is the bestest because she's an Alabama girl (like me) at heart. :) Puppies are always good for what ails you.
I miss my mom - she passed in 2007 after a battle with cancer. And like LadyFi - living through the death of both my parents (my dad passed in 2000) made my siblings and I very close.
you are right...life has a way of bringing us back to what is important. You have the most precious memories of your family and no matter how big that ocean is between all of you, those moments keep you connected forever.
and we all cannot wait to meet JENNY!!!!!
I can relate to your story ... our mom was the core of our family and my rock. I had the privilege of being her care giver through a lung transplant and her illness and I am thankful that I realized then how special our time together was. My sister who lived far away felt disconnected and out of the loop. When she passed, my dad and I slowly built a relationship that was not unlike the one I had with my mom. Like you said ... an unexpected gift from adversity. Thanks for sharing.
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