This Child.....These Children

They look innocent enough, don't they? Beautiful, charming, great smiles, healthy, happy...but behind the fasade is the life of a teenager and a struggling parent who just wants to understand, be there to help them through this difficult time. I think the majority of adults are in agreement that to go back in time and be a teenager again isn't something one would choose to do. What a difficult time trying to find out who you are, become the person you were meant to be....and for some of us we use longer then our teen years to find out who we are suppose to be.

I like to feel I have an open relationship with my kids. I have always told them I'm here, they can talk to me about anything and I'm not going to judge, I'm simply going to share my experiences with them if they want, try to protect them if I can, guide them...or if they prefer I can just listen. No strings attached. Sarah- the striking red head on the left in the photo, is wonderful about sharing everything with me...at least she tells me enough that I feel she is telling me everything, even though I know she probably has her secrets, her own personal thoughts...and good for her! The handsome little guy on the right, Thomas, won't talk to me about anything that has to do with his body...only dad gets those conversations even though I've expressed that I'm his mom so I technically don't count for a girl...he still won't talk to me about guy stuff...but I get to hear about all the girls he falls in love with and who is being nice and who isn't being nice to him..so he shares...sometimes you can't get him to be quiet!! The flip side to these two is the gorgeous blonde in the middle, Julia. The other two kids are me in so many ways, this one though....I find so difficult to relate too. This bothers me to no end, because every mother wants to understand her kids so she can best help them and yes, I see some of me in her also but where I'm weak she is strong, where I babble all day long, she is quiet and reserved, when I'm quiet she babbles...we never meet on common ground usually and it's hard. There is undeniable love constantly in our family but when you are a parent it's hard to know how to help your child through certain times when you can't meet on common ground.

Julia has been more quiet then usual lately, even her teacher noticed and called me and talked to me about it and we've been trying to figure out what's going on with her without actually getting a lot of info from her when we've hinted or directly asked. She just keeps saying she doesn't notice what we are noticing...huh....Well, one of the days before the Captain left I was going to work and he found a journal she writes in for school. Stig began reading this as I went to work and during the day he shows up at my work and joins me while I have my break. He begins to tell me about the story he read in the journal about a girl who wrote a love letter to another girl and the bully in the class found it and read it too the whole class, ultimately humiliating the girl who sent the note and making her leave school "sick". "And she had a little brother," the Captain says too me with giant eyes...Oh geez....could that be what's bothering my baby??? Both of us start pondering what we should do and how we should go about finding out if this is what is wrong with Julia...Stig tells me not to approach her about this and I was immediately thinking that was the first thing I was going to do...so when I got home, I grabbed a minute with her while she was getting ready to go to the ski center and I shut the bathroom door and looked at her very seriously with a warm smile on my face...I told her that I loved her very much and that her dad had read something in her journal that we just wanted her to know that we knew about and that we were completely ok with....and I proceeded to tell her what her dad had read and I told her if she was gay I'd still love her no matter what and so would her dad. I was being extremely serious and she looked at me and said, "Mom, I wouldn't be gay I'd be a lesbian!" and she flipped her long hair at me and grabbed her ski helmet and walked off laughing....I followed quickly after yelling confirmations that no matter what she would be or is...we loved her and just wanted her to know this. She said nothing more too me before she left and Sarah having heard all this, picked up the journal and read it also. While Stig and I sat and discussed what I had said to Julia, Sarah comes over to us and asks if we bothered to read the name of the person who sent the love letter to the other girl in Julia's essay? No, I hadn't read it at all, just the Captain...and the Captain is sitting there with a blank look on his face and says nope, he can't remember the name...this is where Sarah proceeds to tell us that the name was Markus (A boy's name) who sent the letter to the girl, so it was a boy who sent the love letter not a girl. "You guys are so stupid!" Sarah exclaims as she walks off laughing and Stig and I just sit there looking at each other like...yeah....she might have something there and I of course have to give Stig my two cents for not noticing that and he has to give me his two cents for not reading it myself....AHHHHHHHH parenthood....ahhhh children....

Of course this has become a big joke now and our children see that while we aren't perfect and not always right, we love them no matter what and are willing to stick our necks on the chopping board to show them that!!!!!! I guess that is all that counts and all we parents can do.....our best??? Right???

Have a great Saturday everyone!!! Until next time...